Tag Archives: happiness

New Habits For Success And Happiness

Success Habits Happiness Habid

Can you buy happiness?

Some believe you can. And some like David Roth say, “Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht so you can pull up right alongside it!”

But here’s a shocker. Happiness and success are readily available… without costing a cent.

What do I mean?

You see, some people just wish and dream of a day when they’ll be able to afford things that’ll make them happy and successful. Things like a new home, exotic vacations, and more.

But happiness and success aren’t derived from tangible things. It’s a state of mind that allows you to further your progress in both your personal and professional life so that every day, you’re achieving goals and reaching new milestones toward a better life.

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The Book That Transformed My Nephew’s Life

The Emotion Prism

It was only a week back that my favorite nephew was sad and depressed, a broken man. His brow wrinkled with worry, his face pale and haggard. There were dark circles under his bloodshot eyes.

“You look terrible. Is it just the jet lag? Or a hangover?” I asked.

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Social Media: Our Ugly “Mirror On The Wall”?

mirrorwall

In the childhood classic “Snow White”, the evil Queen asks:

“Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who is the fairest of them all?”

And the looking glass loyally affirms her status as most beautiful in the land – until one day, it doesn’t.

The horrid mirror names her lovely, kind-hearted 16-year old step-daughter usurper to the throne… plunging the queen into chaos and heartbreak!

For many of us, social media is our own “mirror on the wall”.

We fire up our browsers, log on to Facebook or Twitter, WhatsApp or SnapChat, curious to see how our peers fared in the time since we last caught up.

  • Are they happier than us – or not?
  • Did they do cooler stuff than us – or not?
  • Have they been places more interesting – or not?

It’s become a new yardstick to measure our own worth… against an external standard.

Our social network.

We could use the amazing power of human community that’s literally at our fingertips to nurture and extend the “connectedness” which underlies every meaningful accomplishment of mankind (see this amazing presentation, ‘Miserable & Magical’).

Yet we are dragged, against our wills, to focus on contrasts between ‘us’ and ‘them’.

We could use social media as a “networking tool” to boost collaboration, cement unity and harness synergies.

Instead, we deploy it as a “comparison engine” that inevitably draws attention to where we lack or lag behind.

In “Smart, Successful, But Still Not Happy”, Dr.Raj Raghunathan talks of three tenets of happiness – mastery, belongingness and autonomy, and says:

“We attempt to fulfill mastery through seeking superiority over others, which leads us to engage in social comparisons – on talent, wealth, beauty, etc. Comparing oneself with others, findings show, is a recipe for misery.”

Social media makes this easy.

As easy as holding up a mirror!

Here’s the doc’s prescription.  “…there is another approach that doesn’t come in the way of happiness. This approach involves seeking mastery through the pursuit of passion.”

In a narcissistic selfie-driven culture, it seems a logical extension to use social media mirroring to evaluate one’s fame, esteem and influence. Unfortunately, that is also a step further down the path away from true happiness.

So the next time you feel tempted to ask:

“Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who’s the fairest of them all”

Listen for the REAL answer, which is…

You are, my dear. And you don’t need any damn mirror to tell you that!

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The Price of Happiness

A Lesson From The 10 Cent Brooch

price of happiness
 

We were sitting in the car, waiting for my sister who was then in third grade.

Glancing around the school playground, we watched little boys and girls energetically celebrate their daily release from the confines of their classrooms.

Running crazily around at top speed. Swinging wildly or climbing up monkey bars. Chasing each other, chucking paper balls at foes and emptying water bottles over friends.

A short, bouncy little whirlwind rushed up to our window.

“Daddy! Daddy, please give me 5 rupees. I want to buy this brooch!”

She stuck out her tiny hand. Clutched tightly in it was a small plastic wrapper.

Inside it was a little blue brooch.

I glanced at it, and turned away, thinking dad would refuse point blank.

To my surprise, he reached into his pocket, pulled out his wallet, and extracted a crisp 5 rupee bill.

Handing it over to the eager, excited little girl, he said, “Come back quickly”.

For a moment, I sat in silence. Then I exploded in indignant remonstration.

“Surely that little thing isn’t worth more than a few paise. Why did you give her 5 rupees for it?”

Dad didn’t speak for some time. Then he replied.

“Today, 5 rupees can buy her happiness. Later on, it may not be possible. Or so cheap.”

5 rupees, back then, was about 10 cents.

The lesson I learned from that experience has been worth several thousand dollars over the years.

When you can ‘buy’ happiness, don’t count the ‘price’.

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Diwali, Lights & a Revelation

Meaning of Deepavali - Happy Diwali

You know how serendipity works.

You’re chugging along, thinking about one thing – and a set of circumstances creates quite a different result… that’s actually better than what you were doing!

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